We love “Christmas Vacation” and had a little family tradition of watching it over and over from the day after Halloween until Christmas. I know that’s a little lame, but it just never got old. You know you quote it a little too often when at dinner, you ask where to set the butter and your 3-year old replies “bend over and I’ll show you.” OOPS!

I gave up all things Clark W. Griswold, including the movie. I wouldn’t even let myself think of any of the lines and tried not to remember how hilarious Mike was at one of our Ugly Sweater parties, dressed like Cousin Eddie. I retired it into the “old life, thing of the past” mental pile and was fine with that. Until Drew asked when we were going to watch it. Ugh…We had survived a year and 4 months without a single “if I woke up with my face sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now” reference.   I acted like it was no big thing and we would find time soon enough. After a few weeks of thinking about it,  I couldn’t make any more excuses and we watched it tonight. I was nervous all day. When we finally all snuggled up on the couch and watched it, I teared up a little bit, but mostly it was just funny and filled with great memories. Why did I make that so hard on myself? It turned out to be pretty easy.

I suspect that the movie will not be quite as funny and maybe not so sentimental anymore. It feels like it’s lost some of its luster without Mike. Maybe it’s part of the process. Maybe it’s JUST a movie and I built it up to be something more. I learned a good lesson, though. I am going to try to face some of these yucky sad things a little more quickly, when I can. Get them over with. I made a grief mountain out of a grief molehill, that’s for sure.